First, we must establish that complaining is a sin. This can be done simply by quoting Paul; "Do all things without complaining (grumbling)..." (Phil. 2:14).
Another important question concerns the nature of the offense. Why is complaining wrong? Romans 8:28 says that God works out all things for the good of those who love him. Similarly, in Ephesians 1:11 he says that God, in his mercy, works all things according to the counsel of his will. The Apostle Peter said that, if it is God's will, it is better that we suffer for doing good rather than for doing evil (1Pet. 3:17). The implicit reality is that our Lord may will that we suffer, which is always a difficult experience. Of course, the list of verses could go on. The point I am making is a simple one: when we complain we are, at core, complaining against the sovereign will of God. This is a grave and serious thing, no matter how often or how comfortable we are with it.
Having said that, we must recognize that the issue is just not that simple. Yes, God's will is perfect, but biblically speaking I believe God has two wills. First of all, God has a sovereign will. God's sovereign will includes those things that God wills which cannot be frustrated. These include such things as the passion of Christ and the perseverance of all true believers. Secondly, God has a commanded will. This is the will of God which he freely allows us to violate. God's commanded will includes commands like "be holy," which are violated every day.
We live in a world where God's commanded will is constantly violated and the consequence is that we all suffer. Our lives are filled with incredibly difficult circumstances, many of which are completely out of our control. We must not pretend that our suffering is anything but what it is; suffering. Difficult jobs, health problems, marriage conflicts, financial stress, and persecution for our faith are all real, painful situations. We must remember that Jesus Christ faced trials beyond what we can bear and some of them made him weep.
How does all this apply to complaining? The above biblical revelation makes me think we must be very careful to examine our hearts in the area of complaining! Any time we stand over God's sovereign decrees and proceed to give him a lesson about how he should run the universe we are treading on very dangerous ground. Our God is a God of love. He has redeemed those who once counted him as enemies. Our lives our now hid with Christ, who loves us and gave himself up for us. Any speech that cheapens that grace by putting more emotional stock in our circumstances than the reality of God's grace is a complaint of sinful proportions. We can never afford to forget the cross when we are thinking about this issue of complaining.
Now, I also think that there is a way to communicate about our suffering that honors the God that ordains the suffering we are experiencing. One way we do this is by calling evil what it is. When we suffer as a result of evil we should grieve because the Holy Spirit grieves. However, we should not grieve as those who have no hope beyond the grave.
I also think that we should communicate with our spouses and friends about the difficulties in our lives. I think we should explain the deep pain that we feel over the myriad of sufferings in our lives. If we want to call this venting, then I say vent away. After all, how can we bear one another's burdens if we do not share them with one another by 'venting'? Make sure, however, that you don't vent in such a way that is hopeless. Moreover, don't complain is a way that would put you to shame if Jesus were actually in the room, after all, He is.
I hope this helps Kevin. As I reflect on your question I think that it if we want to to conquer our slavery to complaining we must grow to treasure Christ more than enjoyable circumstances. I can't lay down a legalistic line for what is and what is not complaining. As believers, we often know the line intuitively. I think we are better off spending our energies killing the speech in our lives that we are certain does qualify as complaining. There will be enough there to keep me busy for a life time. Ultimately, this is an issue of the heart. What do you treasure more, your life or Christ?
1 comment:
Thanks Matt. I think prayer is an integral part of the venting process. The Psalms are full of laments where the writer vents all his troubles and lays them at the feet of the sovereign God who is able to deliver or comfort. My pastor preached on Psalm 32 this past sunday, and though it is a psalm of confession of sin, it's incredible to see how David finds much hope in our Lord. Perhaps our troubles ought first to be brought to the will of the Lord so that we can appropriately communicate our frustrations to others in such a way that God would be glorified.
Matt, I'm so thankful for all your help. It's a great blessing that you are helpful, thoughtful, insightful, prayerful, and godly response in the midst of all your busy-ness.
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