Church Planter's Wives

I hope you don't mind me jumping in in an attempt to sort through some thoughts. I have been on a spiritual retreat of sorts, while Matt is out of town. This time has been hugely beneficial and rejuvenating. Interestingly enough, I found myself reading blogs by church planter's wives. I really tried to sort through and only read/watch things that would be beneficial. Meaning, I watched topics such as: Dealing with Criticism in Leadership, Expectations/Being Yourself in Leadership, Finding Community in Leadership, and Encouragement for Pastor's Wives. These topics are truly so very important and I know that I am completely inexperienced and naive when it comes to these topics. However, I left my time of learning with a feeling of confusion. I am not sure where I stand--not on these topics or issues...but regarding the general culture of church planter's/pastor's wives. Well, wait, I know where I stand on Christian culture in general.... But, now I'll be honest, it seemed to me like a whole lot of old stuff repackaged. You know? Ok, something concrete. I admit/confess, that I dread the idea of becoming a frumpy old pastor's wife--piano playing, doiley wearing, -mousey person. I don't think that that will ever happen, but I almost feel I have something to prove against it! I really want to be "cool" and "hip." Not that I am even close to either of those things, or that I really even think about it that much, but when I think of being a church planter's wife, I know that I must do something so as not to be that mousey pastor's wife that we often despise! Which brings me back. All of these women are not only beautiful, trim, and stylish...but they are cool! They have the coolest clothes, technology, graphics and their husbands always have the hippest haircuts! (I am even thinking of trying to convince Matt to try a cool haircut!) Gosh, there is so nothing wrong with being cool. I just feel a little funny. I guess these blogs hit close to home on one level, because I can easily see myself becoming just like one of these women. But, there is another part of me that knows that I am different. My goals aren't quite the same as some of these truly Godly women. I'm not sure what about me feels different, but I know there is something. This is strange and exciting at the same time. On one hand, I think of all the possibilities that perhaps someone different could bring to the role of a church planter's wife. On the other hand, though, I bet all these women think that they are different and unique and are bringing fresh new perspectives to their roles as church planter's wives. Honestly, they probably are in some ways...(bearing in mind that there is nothing new under the sun). I want to give them credit where credit is due. I know that God must be working through them and changing lives and bringing people to know and love Him.

I guess that is my peeve. Sometimes I wonder if church planter's wives typically get many evangelistic opportunities outside of their families/kids. I know for me, evangelism opportunities are a must. Unless God has me cooped up as some church administrator or something, I think, maybe, that God is leading me to be in the secular world. But, how do you maintain that as a pastor's wife? I think one of my main idea's has been through work/further education outside of the church. But, how do you balance life with church planting...and then maybe kids? Is it crazy that I think that God might open a door for me to achieve all of these things? I certainly don't see how it can work out from a practical human perspective.

Overall, though, I have been nothing but pumped about the church plant. I realize that God very distinctly put Matt and I in the role of church planters for specific reasons and I am PUMPED! I feel more confident than ever before that this is the path that God has for us. I have grown so much since we've been here in State College! It seems that Church Planting is a part of what's going to keep me on a trajectory of growth for many years to come.

Sorry, I know mostly guys read this blog and this is highly introspective. Really, you don't have to read my rant. I just needed to get these things out. :-)